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  #1  
Old 07-04-2009, 11:52 PM
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AyatollahGondola AyatollahGondola is offline
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Default A life Will Soon End

A difficult time is coming for us,

We spent most of our fourth of July at close relatives house to be near her as her time is coming. She has terminal cancer in the pancreas, and it's taking a big bite lately. The last time I was there, she was up and still working in the kitchen, but today she is down, and it's looking like getting back up is not likely. This is a close aunt of my wifes, and the wife of the Sergeant Major in the family.(There's lots of military in the family). She has stood by and maintained her home as her husband traveled from battlefield to battlefield, training missions, duty assignments, and posts all over the world, including the infamous Vietnam. The Sergeant Major retired after 30 years in the US Army, and was able to spend some of his retirement with her before this struck. It's pretty sad, but they are planning this well. Family is taking turns visiting, and we are close so my wife is there several days a week for a few hours each time. I always thought highly of her. They are good folks, and welcomed me into the family without hesitation or premise. It will be hard to see her go, but I also know we will be spending more time with SM from then on. He's a great guy, especially considering what he's been through in his career, and his childhood. They both survived the occupation of Guam, and he was a bit orphaned during that period. All in all, they have done OK for themselves for their beginnings and for their earlier income on military pay. I sure wish they could have more time together to enjoy what they've earned
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Old 07-05-2009, 07:50 AM
Rim05 Rim05 is offline
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Sorry to hear this. I have lived to see most of my family gone but it is a fact of life. I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me when I am gone. Remember me for the good times we have had. I hope some will remember some good 'things' I have done. I am sure your Aunt feels the same
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Old 07-18-2009, 10:25 PM
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AyatollahGondola AyatollahGondola is offline
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This evening, my wife came home with disturbing reports of her time spent with her aunt today. The pain has increased, and if you're in the know about pain meds, your body gets used to them and thus requires more to do the same job, and you can only use so much at once. we're talking opiates at this point. My wife relayed that her aunt had asked everyone to pray for her right then, which everyone did, and it lasted some 15 minutes or more. then, her aunt prayed and asked the lord to take her. My wife said she looked quite a bit different, as in much older, so things are accelerating now
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Old 07-18-2009, 10:47 PM
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I will keep your wife's aunt in my prayers. This is the most difficult part of life. I would think she could take more drugs towards the end, that is only right to keep her as comfortable as possible.

Last edited by sandinator : 07-19-2009 at 09:29 AM. Reason: ~
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Old 07-18-2009, 10:50 PM
Rim05 Rim05 is offline
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Sorry to hear.
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Old 07-19-2009, 10:02 PM
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Thanks Rim05,

We spent the afternoon over there today. She's not eating much right now because it's hard to keep it down. Not sure if that's the cancer or the opiates that's most responsible for that. She also faded in and out to sleep, so while my daughter and wife sat next to her and held her hand, her husband was able to break away and take care of some necessities of his own. I caught up to him in his den, and he was organizing papers in preparation for things to come. I engaged him in conversation about his service, as he did want to talk about it. Some things I learned today were enlightening, and surprising. I wasn't aware that he was actually drafted into the military originally, which had to have been around 1961 or '62. He served, and came back to Guam to meet his wife. While they were just a few days back together, the Army solicited him to re-up, and she told him she wasn't going to wait on Guam for him this time. So he refused the offer, and the Army sweetened the pot with an enlistment bonus of $3600.00, which was a tidy sum of cash for those days ('63). So they also let her live on base, and thus he restarted what was to be a lifelong career. They did immediately ship him off to Vietnam though. I also learned he achieved Sergeant Major rank in 1983, and I thought it was much later than that. SM became his goal early on he said, after recieving his first paycheck from the Army after re-upping. He said that when he saw that meager sum of money, and it was all he would get to support his wife, he said he became determined to work as hard as he could to acheive rank and pay. He did it. I've said it before here, it's gotta be tough to spend your life away from you family to support them, all the while working for that day when you get your retirement to spend with them, only to lose her sooner than expected.
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Old 07-20-2009, 10:39 AM
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I lost my mother in 1978 to cancer. It is really difficult to watch, also about 4 months before her death one of her sons died. She had no will to live after that. There was nothing we could do for her. She was in the hospital when the son died and she said she would be with him within 6 months and she was.
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Old 07-20-2009, 06:29 PM
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DerailAmnesty.com DerailAmnesty.com is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rim05 View Post
Sorry to hear this. I have lived to see most of my family gone but it is a fact of life. I do not want anyone to feel sorry for me when I am gone. Remember me for the good times we have had. I hope some will remember some good 'things' I have done. I am sure your Aunt feels the same

I will not feel sorry for you. I will feel sorry for us in your absence. You're a special spirit. Not many people your age have gone tearing up grass covered enbankments with me at day labor sites. Also, some of the most honest and heartfelt comments I've filmed at events have come out of your mouth.
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Old 07-21-2009, 11:15 AM
Rim05 Rim05 is offline
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Thanks DA, but let us not rob AG's thread. Glad you remember me. The same will be for AG's relative.
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Old 07-21-2009, 08:53 PM
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It's ok. We're pretty much talking about the same thing anyway
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